skip to my loo

How is it that, after downing two sizable mugs of Earl Gray tea (DEFCON 5), two tall Bloody Marys (holding at DEFCON 5), and numerous refills of water (increasing to DEFCON 4), I don’t have to pee until after riding the bus for 45 minutes, walking the five minutes to my house, reaching my front door, I search in vain for my housekeys lost somewhere in the vast expanse of my Yak Pak bag then BAM!  I immediately skip over DEFCONs 3 and 2 while 1 has overtaken me.

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